


"I'm Your Present"

by Tater_Tati



Series: KHR 12 Days of Xmas [4]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Age Difference, Christmas sex, Crack, F/M, Food Sex, Fran in reindeer briefs, Fran is of legal age bc no pedos pls, Humor, Inappropriate Use of Bows, Reader-Insert, Sexual Present, The Varia being the Varia, but only slight, crack smut, like a couple years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 14:00:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16914177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tater_Tati/pseuds/Tater_Tati
Summary: Day 4 of my KHR 12 Days of XMas.Fran doesn’t know what to get you for Christmas. So, he decides on the safest option. Himself. NSFW. Crack Smut. Featuring the Varia being the Varia.Cross-posted to my tumblr @sawadatuna-yoshi.





	"I'm Your Present"

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, Fran is at least 18 in this. At least. The reader is a couple years older. So a little age gap that Fran likes to make inappropriate jokes about. 
> 
> Also this is like 90% crack smut, I’m sorry. I can’t take anything seriously when it comes to Fran.

The Varia wasn’t big on Christmas, and if it wasn’t for Lussuria urging everyone to get into the “holiday mood,” Fran honestly doubted anyone of them would care. As it was, they had only agreed on Secret Santa because Mammon refused to buy gifts for everyone (“It’s a waste of money,” he had said), but Lussuria refused to concede (“I’ll give you blackmail pics on everyone here if you just agree, Mammon.”) 

By some stroke of misfortune (for Bel), Fran had gotten him for the game. He had been planning to just give him a stray knife he had found embedded deep in his frog hat. (Why the crazy prince still insisted he wear the damn hat when Mammon was still alive, he wouldn’t know.) And that would be the extent of his gift-giving. But that changed when Fran saw that you had gotten him a gift. 

He knew you had seen the pictures of him in that giant apple hat as a child, but he didn’t think you remembered them. That’s when he saw you hurriedly hiding a pair of apple print boxers under your bed, he was… surprised. Oddly touched. 

But he had no idea what to get you for Christmas. What would you even like? He once got you a puppy for your anniversary, but you got mad at him once Belphegor threw a knife and it was turned out to be a mere illusion. (In his defense, regular puppies were much harder to take care of when you were an assassin. Plus, at least you didn’t have to feed or bathe an illusion.)

But this time, he had to get you something bigger, better. He just didn’t know what. When he looked up ideas on google, he came across some.. interesting results. It seemed like couples liked to do kinky things for each other on Christmas. Things involving whipped cream, strawberries, inappropriately short Santa costumes, reindeer whips, and… cinnamon flavored lingerie. But when he stumbled across one person’s story about how this Christmas present had changed his relationship, he was even more intrigued. 

He had to try it out. 

—

Christmas Day was soon upon Varia Castle, and you were surprised to see almost everyone congregated around the communal room at midnight, where you and Lussuria had set up a pretty sizeable Christmas tree. As soon as presents were handed out and Secret Santas were revealed, however, all hell broke loose. Squalo quickly slashed through the wrapping paper, yelling once he saw Lussuria had gotten him a conditioner and shampoo set, along with a coupon for the nearest hair salon. Lussuria was gushing over the sequined metal knee plate Levi had gifted him. Levi, on the other hand, was sobbing because Xanxus hadn’t gotten him anything. Xanus had meanwhile chugged down nearly half of the expensive champagne Mammon had gotten him. Mammon was frowning as he stared at the pack of Charmin Ultra Soft toilet paper Squalo had gotten him. 

You were understandably wary when Bel handed you a small package. 

“Ushishishi, Merry Christmas, peasant.” You’d opened it to see… Plan B birth control, as well as a piece of paper with the address to what you knew was a nearby prostitution ring printed on it. “For when you decide to dump that brat.” He snickered.

You rolled your eyes at Bel, crumpling his paper and throwing it behind you before you realized you hadn’t seen Fran the whole day, busy as you were with Christmas errands. As you approached Lussuria, asking him if he’d seen Fran, you heard Belphegor curse from behind you once when he opened his sloppily wrapped package and several bent knives fell out, along with a shitty plastic tiara from the Halloween store. 

Lussuria told Fran he hadn’t seen him in his room, nor had he responded to any of his texts. You frowned, deciding to go look for your boyfriend yourself. Grabbing your unopened present, you decided to head your room first to grab your phone. 

When you opened the door, however, you were met with a sight you’d never expected to see. 

“Merry Christmas, (Y/N),” Fran’s monotone voice resounded as the door slammed shut behind you. He was… quite a sight. Fran was shirtless, lying against your pillows, a giant red bow wrapped around his lean yet toned torso. The only thing on him was a pair of reindeer-covered briefs, where a bow was wrapped over his crotch. 

Your jaw dropped as you stared at the sight, his present slipping through your grasp. “Fran? What the—”

“I’m your present,” he said, tugging almost... suggestively at the bow ends on his crotch. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say Fran was trying to make bedroom eyes at you, but it was ruined by his monotone delivery. 

“I-I can see that. May I ask… why?” You said, biting down on your lip as you tried to contain your laughter. While you approached him, his eyes were on you the entire time. 

“Senpai, isn’t it obvious? I’m giving myself to you for Christmas,” he deadpanned. 

“Fran...” You couldn’t laugh, you told yourself. You shouldn’t. Even when you got closer and realized there was fucking whipped cream and strawberries on your bedside table. Fran noticed your eye. 

“Oh, that’s for when you unwrap me.”

“U-unwrap… you?”

“Yeah,” he said, like it was the most obvious answer in the world. “When you play with your present. How long are you going to keep me waiting? It’s cold in this.”

You stifled a laugh, leaning beside him on the bed to observe his form. “You.. really, um, went all out, Fran, huh? I-I don’t know what to say.” 

He sighed. Fran seemed irked by your response. “Senpai, I don’t know what kind of signals you’re trying to send me, but you don’t seem very excited about my present.” He pouted. “But please hurry and unwrap me. I can’t feel my arms.”

Your hands were shaking from laughter as you attempted to untie his torso first. As soon as you did, Fran was swift, tugging you towards him to press a surprisingly fierce kiss against your lips. You shifted, your legs straddling him. You pressed against the hardness growing in his briefs, and ground. Fran sighed against your mouth at the friction. 

“Senpai, you need to unwrap my other part still. Your present hasn’t been fully revealed.”

“Oh my god, Fran, please,” you said. “I can’t get in the mood if you keep making these jokes.”

As you struggled to undo the ties around his lower half, he sighed as you brushed your hand against him, before you pulled off his briefs and he was bare before you, his dick half-hard. 

“Why didn’t you just go commando?” you teased, your eyebrow raised as you appraised him. 

“It’s so cold, the bow kept slipping off,” he whined. “But you’re warm, senpai,” he said, rutting himself against your thigh. “Warm me up, would you?”

“You’re such a brat,” you said affectionately, nipping at his neck. Fran’s breath hitched as he arched into you, his hard-on pressing more insistently against you. Your hand slipped down to grip him firmly as you stroked him, his eyelashes fluttering as his hands fisted themselves into your bedsheets. Fran’s breathing was already erratic, and it made you wonder how long he had been waiting for you like this. 

But still….

Fran’s eyes snapped open when your hand left him, whining slightly. “Senpaaai. Why’d you stop?”

“I thought you said you were my Christmas present, right? Doesn’t that mean I should enjoy you for a little longer?”

He huffed. Only in the bedroom did Fran’s bratty sub side come out. “Can’t you enjoy me and let me enjoy you enjoying me at the same time?”

You eyed the items he’d placed on the bedside table and grabbed the whipped cream. “Besides, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t fully enjoy your present?” Your finger slid through the whipped cream, taking a lick as a test. Well, at least Fran remembered not to get expired food this time. You grabbed more with your fingers, trailing them down the sparse splattering of hair on his lower abdomen, before rubbing it around the head of his cock. 

You leaned down to lick the whipped cream off his warm skin, before enveloping him in your mouth. Fran showed no reaction on his face, but his dick did twitch inside your mouth, his thighs tensing. You were hellbent on triggering a reaction, however, and took him deeper, until your nose brushed against his hip, and you swallowed around him. That earned you a sharp inhale, Fran’s grip tightening on the bed sheets. When you hummed around him, he jolted, his thighs squirming around your head. You had to hold him down. 

When you finally released him with a pop, he practically yanked you up to him, slamming your lips down onto his in a needy kiss. You ground your hips against him, when Fran tugged at the edge of your dress. Fran helped you lift it up over your head, undressing you, before reaching over to grab the bottle of warming lube. He poured it over his fingers, before gripping your hip with one hand, and thrusting his fingers into you. He played with you, scissoring his fingers inside of you until you started pressing down, urging his fingers deeper. 

He poured some of the lube onto his dick, stroking himself. As you moved to discard panties, Fran squeezed your hip, stopping you as he reached down to yank them to the side, just enough for him to slide into you. You whimpered as your hips met each other with every plunge downwards. 

You moaned his name desperately as you rocked your hips against his. His grip on you tightened, before he flipped you over. His hands grasped your thighs, tugging them towards him as he entered you again, setting up a fast pace from behind. His knees dug into the bed as he slammed his hips against yours, before stilling. When you tightened around him, writhing against his form, he leaned over to bury his face in your back, shuddering as he came inside of you. His body went boneless against yours, and the both of you lay there, panting. 

“...Fran, you’re crushing me,” you complained after a few seconds, your voice muffled by the sheets. 

He sighed, rolling off you to lie on his back. “You’re the one who basically attacked me, senpai.”

You lifted your head from the sheets to gape at him. “You’re the one who wanted it!”

He stared blandly at you, inching closer to you. “That defense won’t hold up in court, senpai.”

“Oh my god, stop, you make it sound like I assaulted you. Not funny, Fran!” you groaned, slamming your head back into the sheets. You pushed yourself up, about to maneuver yourself out of the bed, when Fran’s hand reached out to grasp yours. 

“I was just kidding. I consented. Stay.” He tugged on your hand.

You rolled your eyes at him, yanking your hand away, as you grumbled, “You’re such a brat. I was just grabbing your present.” You walked over to the door, picking up the forgotten item, but as you straightened, Fran was right behind you. His head rested on your shoulder, as his arm wrapped around your middle to grasp your open hand. 

“I love it. Thanks.”

“You haven’t even seen it yet!” 

“Oh, right. Ah… sure I haven’t.”

You eyed him suspiciously, before he was grabbing the package out of your hands. “I wanna take a shower. I feel gross. Join me. It’ll be part two of your Christmas present.” 

You glared at him. “You didn’t wrap the shower head in a bow too, did you?’”

“Of course not. C’mon senpai. I’ll even wear your boxers afterwards.” 

“So you did peek at it!”

He held his hands up in surrender. “Technically… I let you get much more than a peek at your present.”


End file.
